I still remember the joy I used to feel as a child when the school year finally came to an end. Summer meant no fixed schedule, sleeping in late, no school worries, endless playtime, and spending hours outside with friends—in one word: freedom.

Now, however, as an adult, a mother, and a full-time employee, summer feels more like a wave of worries and extra responsibilities. With no kindergarten to attend, my child will be home from morning till evening, for almost three full months—months in which I am going to inevitably lose the little bit of patience that managed to survive the recently ended school year.

In the past few years, I always made sure my daughter attended summer kindergarten during July—and that helped tremendously! It gave me a bonus month where I didn’t have to worry about who would take care of her while I was at work. I truly admire initiatives that offer public education services during the holidays for children whose parents work full-time and don’t have other childcare options.

But this year, unfortunately, that wasn’t possible.
At first, I was frustrated—yet again, everything falls on the poor parent, who has to figure it all out. So I started searching for all kinds of activities, summer camps, private schools offering full-day programs.

Then it hit me. In my rush to find a new way to keep my child busy during the summer, I had completely forgotten how I used to feel at the start of summer vacation: that unique joy of living in your own rhythm, full of play and light-hearted days—just as childhood should be.

Since my full-time job is 100% remote, I decided I would do everything I can to give my child a summer filled with joy and play, free of worries.

And here we are now, in the first week of summer break, at home together from morning till night. I have to admit I felt a bit proud seeing how smoothly the first few days went—peaceful and without exhausting conflicts (yes, I know—summer is long and it won’t always be this easy, but hey, small victories are still victories, right?).

And I owe this smooth start largely to the set of rules we put in place to help us live together in harmony—carefully adjusted for our new summer routine.

What I’ve come to understand in these years of being a parent is that clear, consistent boundaries are actually one of the most loving gifts we can offer our children. They bring structure, predictability, and a sense of safety—especially in a world that can feel big and confusing for little ones.

In this post, I want to share a few things I’ve learned about setting rules that stick—not through yelling or threats, but through calm authority, empathy, and follow-through. I’ll also share some simple strategies that help me stay consistent, even on the hardest days. Because the truth is, we don’t need to be perfect—we just need to be clear, kind, and steady.

• Keep the rules simple and clear

Children thrive on clarity. Too many rules or vague language can confuse them. Stick to 3–5 non-negotiables and phrase them in a positive, easy-to-remember way.

Our non-negotiables rules are:

1. We use calm voices when we are upset

2. We eat only at the kitchen table

3. We watch a maximum of one hour of TV per day

4. We speak kindly

5. We brush our teeth before bed

6. We eat a maximum of 2 sweets per day

• Explain the “Why” Behind the Rule

When children understand the reason behind a boundary, they’re more likely to respect it. You don’t need to launch into long lectures—just a short explanation shows you value their intelligence and autonomy.

• Stay Calm and Neutral in Enforcement

The moment a rule is broken, it’s tempting to lecture or raise your voice. But your calm presence is more powerful than a stormy reaction. Be firm, brief, and consistent.

“I see you’re upset, but the rule still stands. We’ll try again tomorrow.”

The goal isn’t to win, but to teach.

• Follow Through—Every Time

This is the hardest part. But consistency teaches children that you mean what you say. If you set a boundary and then bend it “just this once,” you’re teaching them to test that line again and again.

Perhaps the rules we’ve set in our family might seem a bit permissive to some (I truly admire those parents who manage to allow their kids TV or sweets only once or twice a week—what an achievement, and I genuinely applaud them!). But I’ve chosen to adjust our rules in a way that I know I can stick to, first and foremost.

For example, when I have an important online meeting and need a full hour of deep focus, I found myself breaking my own rule by asking my daughter to keep watching TV—even though her 30-minute screen time had already ended (that was our previous rule).

So, for the sake of both peace of mind and consistency, we decided to increase TV time to 60 minutes. It’s not perfect, but it works for us—and sometimes, that’s exactly what matters most.

• Acknowledge Emotions Without Changing the Rule

It’s possible to be both empathetic and firm. Children need to feel heard—but that doesn’t mean the rule changes. Acknowledge the feeling, hold the boundary.

“I know it’s hard to stop playing. I’d feel the same way. But now it’s time to clean up. Do you want to do it together or on your own?”

A few simple, clear rules act as our compass—helping us not get lost in the many arguments and power struggles that can erupt from almost anything when raising a child who is growing and testing limits.

I’ve often heard comments like, “If you don’t yell at your child or punish them right away, you’re not being firm enough—and they’ll walk all over you.” (Oh, how many times I’ve heard that one…)

But I’ve always known where to look for real guidance: I turn to experts. I choose to listen to professionals who have dedicated their entire careers to child development—not to people who barely know me or my child, yet feel entitled to offer unsolicited advice.

Each parent does what they believe is best for their child. And the rest of us? Let’s do our part to offer support and empathy whenever we get the chance.

In a world that feels more divided day by day, we each carry the power to bring a little more kindness into someone’s life.

Tell me: what’s your family’s recipe for a joyful (or just manageable!) summer break?

Warm regards,

The Red Fairy

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